they told me, its a matter of time.

but till now...

i couldn't find one second in my 344 days that i think i have stop loving u.

i just couldn't find it.yet.or maybe,never?

well..no one knows what lies in the future,except One.

I stop writing here more than 2 years now. how time flies. i used to love blogging so much but things happened. once i flew here, i slowly think that i don't need to post an entri anymore because everytime i want to post it, i don't feel it appropriate for readers (if only TrEaSuRe has readers). i have almost 30 entries in my draft but not even one i have enough confident to post it here. i don't know, maybe too much complaints, sad stories, personal stuff and etc. nevertheless, i never stop writing.

I keep thinking to delete this blog permanently but i have those memories i want to keep forever. i want to let it be that way. so whenever i feel sad, i can feel those happy memories when i was a teenager again. 

till then, when i have enough courage to write again, assalamualaikum.

Apa?

semua orang tak kasi.. takpela takpela.. *patah hati*

salah ke?

Patah Tumbuh Hilang Berganti

pensel tekan Faber Castell dari malaysia yang dijaga rapi beberapa tahun nie sudah menghilangkan diri beliau. kita takde jodoh mungkin. walaupun tak boleh terima hakikat sebab pensel tue dah sebati dalam diri jiwa raga segale tapi takpela. seronok jugak dapat ganti dengan Parker teros;p

hehehe dengan hanya berbekalkan £0.61 boleh dapat Parker mechanical pencil, cooler pad utk laptop (cooler pad lama dah berbunyi seperti halilintar menusuk jiwa, memang dah nazak sangat) dan jugak ethernet cable (yang sekarang punya hanya mampu membawa laptop sye bersiar-siar dekat atas meja study jek, tak bahagia langsung. maklumla barang buat sendiri sisa2 pembelajaran di BMI waktu praktikal dulu). terima kasih amazon:)

patah tumbuh hilang berganti. semoga berada dalam keadaan yang sempurna walau dimana jua kau berada wahai Faber Castell kesayangan~

Saying

"bg la seribu tahun pon, blom tentu leh janjikan apa2" -syazwani farhah,2011

My Winter

london (22dec2010)

having the best pillow talk with rye. i miss her room with syeeda back in KMKN:)

sheffield & manchester (23dec-29dec 2010)

where majority of FET's student is there. and the place that separate my EE13 family. thank you everyone for the lovely welcome:) i miss them whole heartedly.

london (5jan-8jan 2011)

my bestfriend,kautsar from colorado,US. having her for 3days is awesome! she turns my quiet room into something i can't describe. i hate the part when i waved her goodbye in heathrow. slowly my tears dropped when i step back in my quiet room that morning. i love her.

stamford bridge (31jan2011)

my best friend since Standard 1, zulaikha from jordan. having her 2weeks winter break in UK but she only spent 1 night in my place. screw the difference winter break timetable:( have a long long chat with her that night. i miss her already.

london (22dec2010 & 2feb2011 & 5feb2011)

how to describe her?im confused-.-' hanum from poland, my best friend in primary school and still close till now. i got an amazing childhood friends like them:) have a blood related with my other half, they are cousin.

22dec2010: i picked her up at victoria coach station because it was her 1st time coming to london and waiting for her friend from manchester.

2feb2011: picked up her family from malaysia at west brompton. thank u aunty seha for the delicious rendang and pulut:) and ehem, thank u for your mom's delicious rendang pucuk ubi also firdaus. taste the food made by future mother-in-law somehow feels good,hehe;p

5feb2011: day out with her family at london. seriously, feels like having my own family here:) so much fun! i am a homesick's girl.

despite all of this so much love for my winter, i still feel empty. without you. i wish that you can complete my winter too. even though you've not been here with me but you always inside my heart. always. i miss you boy. a lot.

Random

i want to talk randomly.mari-mari kita buat kerepek.

satu

sye ada flatmate psiko nama arez. probably dia mental dekat perempuan sebab byron selamba je tegur dia tapi bila ngan salah sorang dari 5 perempuan kat flat ni,dia bersikap pelik. dia masak tapi mata dia tenung perempuan yang ada kat dapur.lepas tu,makanan dia hangus,dia buang kat tong sampah. dia masak balik,dia buang lagi. paling takut tengok dia pegang pisau,macam pembunuh bersiri. masuk hari ni,dah 3 hari berturut2 dia penyebab fire alarm. makanan dia dah hangus berasap 1 dapur tp dia boleh buat bodo masak lagi. kalau sorang2 kat dapur ngan dia,memang rasa tak selamat sebab dia buat kerja lain tapi mata dia kat korang. kalau terpandang,dia kenyit mata mintak pelempang. dia merupakan 1 ancaman. rasa tak selamat kat flat sendiri. ini bahaya.

dua

do you know why sometimes you can't differentiate between 's' and 'f' when your friend talks on the phone?it is not because you're having a line problem but because of signal for telephone only supports until 3.4 kHz while the frequency for alphabet 's' and 'f' can go up higher than that. that is why it seems like missing and you can't hear it properly.so don't blame your friend if they don't get you,hehe-.-'

tiga

satu dan dua di atas merupakan status di facebook. sebab tue tukar2 bahasa.

empat

sye dah terbiasa menangis sebelum tidur sekarang nie. sye limitkan diri sendiri untuk tidak menangis di waktu2 rambang seperti dahulu. kalau sye tak rasa nak menangis pon sebelum tidur, sye akan paksa menangis jugak dgn ingat balik kenangan2 yg boleh wat sye rindu. demi untuk tidak menangis bila tiba siang keesokannya. oh,sye rindu awak. sangat2. ok sayu dah. nak pergi tepi tingkap lepas nie tengok kapal terbang. tak lama lagi. tak lama lagi...

lima

apa agaknya khabar semua2 nie sejak kehilangan seorang peminat tegar-.-'

>>secret recipe, oasis food court, jusco ngan GSC kat mid valley

>>sphageti milano kat signature klcc

>>bowling, chicken rice shop ngan GSC kat berjaya times square

>>GSC, pizza hut, roti boy ngan mcflurry McD kat alamanda

>>big apple kat jusco wangsa maju

enam

untuk sem kali nie, sye akan prepare mental dan fizikal secukupnya untuk kelas 4 jam straight setiap pagi jumaat dari pukul 9pgi-1tghari. dala semua subjek hard core jek,tak sempat nak tidur pon. pecah otak woo.. oh sem ni hari rabu merupakan hari beli groceries dimana takde kelas langsung. hip hip hooray!

tujuh

final exam tinggal lagi 12 minggu. nak balik malaysia lagi 120 hari. kalau takde exam boleh?huhu..

lapan

cukup2la merambang izni.tata~

Harta Pusaka

baru duduk 5 bulan kat sini, macam2 harta dah hilang.

mula2 white gold earrings.

lepas tue mickey silver bracelet.

nie polo silver watch.

ingat sye kaya sangat ke nak hilang semua sekali. haih. nilai campo tolak darab bahagi semua tu aderla nak sampai rm 1ribu. eh banyak gila kot!

sye harap lepas nie cincin sye duduk diam2 kat jari tu. pelis lar jgn mengada nak join kawan2 laen yg hilang jgk.

ok bye,nak pergi iron tudung. dah sebulan sye tak iron tudung, hari nie mana dtg kudrat pon taktaw-.-'

Inside

sorry for not replying any of your ym and skype

it was intentionally.

you supposed shouldn't said that in the 1st place before

it makes me feel awkward.

and yes, i didn't like it either.

please, don't make me feel like this again?

i hate feel awkward with you.

Org Lapar...

mengidam macam2..

keli sambal ngan sotong kat malaysian hall.

nasi beriyani sodap ayam byk kt hayes.

nasi lemak terbaek kt rasa sayang.

ayam grill kt west ealing.

tapi bila cek purse balik.....

ok takpela.bubye nafsu makan.kita jumpa lain bulan yer.tunggu encik MARA penohkan ruangan 'current' dlm akaun Lloyds tu dulu-.-'

nak pegi makan mmg best kt london nie.tp nak pegi kpd makanan tu ya ampun..mahal gler..transport je da tercekik.ah benci VAT!blom harga makanan~~

erm rndu waktu bersiar2 kt sheffield ngan manchester winter break aritu. day rider baru £3.50.jalan lar ko puas2 melantak;p kt london nie sjak VAT,daily travelcard je dah £8. makanan plx jgn harap nak makan sedap2 bawah £5. sekali keluar carik makanan dah £13++? baek beli tiket tren jumpa kawan2 kt sheffield camni,hehe:D

tlg fokus dkt keli sambal tu eh! fuh mmg terbaek lar MSD:)

Aigo~~

sye memang ada problem nak ingat nama orang. lagi2 orang yg baru jumpa sekali. dan sye bukan jenis org yg visual sgt. kalau susah payah korang terangkan dia pakai spec ke tinggi ke putih ke chubby ke, memang tak melekat langsung kat kepala. kecuali kalau bersungguh2 sgt,mungkin adalah satu dua bayang pasal org tu dalam kepala.

sebab tu prefer dan terbiasa utk berada dalam circle yg sama. circle yg sye biasa tgk hari2 contoh macam classmates, schoolmates, dormmates atau seangkatannye. sebab kalau jumpa org baru, pastu 2nd time jumpa lagi dan nak tegur tapi tak ingat nama padahal org tu punyala senang gler ingat nama sye, memang akan jadi malu gler dan rendah diri sangat2. pastu serba salah sampai taknak dah terjumpa pasni-.-'

problem problem. patutla takde kawan baru.

Blood

i am 20 years n 7 months old,

but till now i didn't know which blood type i belongs with.

poor me-.-'

how did u know yours??

if u tell me it was in highschool where 1 of bio lab did this, i already forgot whether my class skipped that part or i just being so lucky when it is my turn, the clock showed not enough time. erm i dont like either needle or blood. apatah lagi mix of them;p

if u tell me its written on your medical checkup's result, i don't know why there's nothing on mine. i even ask the doctor, why my result didnt wrote that, the doctor said, "ouh kalau nk taw blood type,kne wat ujian darah laen.bukn yg sye amek darah nie".what?knape tak boleh guna darah sama??dala org tak cukup darah.ok fine,next time lar.but it always 'next time' like that~

curious

Hmm...

barang apa yg org selalu jadikan untuk hantaran kahwin??fuh excited pulak;p

Hari Kita Berdua:)

dah lama sangatttt tak merapu kat sini.serius pny nak cakap,sye dah tak tahu mana hilang mood utk bercerita.sejak duduk sini,bole kira pakai jari berapa entri je sye ader.sekarang ni pun malas tapi disebabkan hari ni sangat indah dan rasa sayang kalau2 tahun depan ke 5tahun lagi ke saya cari entri bertarikh hari ini tapi takde,mesti macam kecewa gila.

oh,i dun know how to describe my feeling today.indah.rasa macam pari2 tengah terbang melayang kena tolak angin:)

kalau hari ini genap 3 tahun, sye harap akan ada tahun2 seterusnya untuk kami,insyaallah! terima kasih awak.angka tiga mungkin nampak sekejap tapi hanya kita berdua je taw apa yang berlaku sepanjang tiga tahun tue.

>>terima kasih untuk tidur tak lena awak mlm tadi sebab takut terlajak tidur pukul 8 pagi malaysia=12 malam uk semata-mata nak video call hari ni.

>>terima kasih sebab berjaya wat surprise dan tipu sye sblm ni ckp dah bukak awal2 plastik yg sye passing kat rye suro bagi kt awk tue.sbb tu kot sye macam dah tak berapa kisah pasal hari ni smpi terlupa tarikh-.-' pastu awk ckp sje je nk buat surprise bukak depan sye.ok terharu!

>>terima kasih untuk senyuman lebar awk lepas bukak kiriman sye tue dan cakap awk suka hadiah tue:D

>>terima kasih untuk hadiah yg awk kasi jugak!walaupun bukan berciri material tapi sumpah sye terharu.sepanjang hari nie sye tersenyum sorang2 bila teringat balik.indah.

>>terima kasih untuk video call yg sgt sweet sye rasa.lama kan tak bervideo call begitu??

>>sblm terlupa,terima kasih jgk sbb tunggu bila sye potong line nak skype ngan family time tue.ada family,ada awk,cukup lengkap malam sye;)

boleh tak hari2 berperasaan camni??rasa dekat walaupun realitinya jauh beribu batu. happy 3rd anniversary utk kita berdua:) firdaus,terima kasih utk perasaan indah nie!

sye selongkar folder crik gambar paling latest kita berdua tp baru sedar,plg latest pun 4 bulan lepas.syahdu.ni teman yg paling dekat ngan sye sekarang yg mengingatkan tentang awk:)

Them

mak ketawa dgn semangatnye time skype tadi.

ayah pon sama.

ouh rindu...

Saving for Future?

while they're talking about placement job starting next year and CV game dis afternoon,

the salary part caught me the most.

i've even thought about if only i got the placement job

(which is literally i wont because i dont even apply, n MARA's agreement didnt allow me),

how much can i save every month to get marry.how much can i save every month, so that i can fly back to malaysia twice a year.

not a nice thought.not a nice thought.

i should be focusing more during the talk by professionals;p

ps:u noe 'belanja kawen' nowadays is sooo expensive??start saving by now:P

pps:15% of my allowance each month is going under "graduation mission". my early mission is to bring mak n ayah only but after i've done some calculations, by december 2012, that money can actuali brings 9 peoples coming here. so i can have my whole family during my graduation day on 2013:) nice huh?

sila jgn pcaye psl kawen tue.nothing to do with that.i dont even start saving on that.

Deep

i don't really wanna blog this time...

i juz want my other half back..right in front of me..dis winter break..

if only it can be a reality.....

otherwise,dun talk to me for how great dis winter break will be.

i dun feel exciting at all.i mean it.

u juz see me laughing.im crying inside.

i shud buy a flight ticket a long time ago but now,itz juz too late.

i noe, "menyesal menda yg dah lps tak guna".

i blame myself for that.for not taking care of my own feeling.

i hope u guys have a wonderful holiday.

Tragis

raya haji tahun nie bakal jadi paling tragis dalam hidup sye.

dimulakan dengan lab 3jam bermula pukul 9pagi, seterusnya disambung dgn kelas tanpa henti sehingga jam 6petang.
berkorbanlah izni. sesungguhnya nama pon raya korban:(

mak..nak balik..nak sup tulang?;P

central mosque london dah umumkan raya haji kat sini atoh pada hari selasa bersamaan 16 november 2010.

salam aidiladha

Karangan Budak *Kecik*

ayah sye dah pencen. jadi domestic engineer yg sgt3 berjaya. ayah rajin carik resepi kat internet sebab dia malu kot nak tanya mak camna nak masak lauk2 best. haha;p

ayah sye masih belom dapat adapt ngan DST. malas nak terang, yg penting skunk beza UK ngan Malaysia dah 8jam. dulu 7jam jek..
disebabkan tue,kol6.30 pagi tiap2 hari mesti skype sye bunyi. tiap2 hari. dulu sye dah siap2 mandi kol7.30-8 pagi baru nak bunyi.
pastu tiap2 hari lar dia tanya,"skunk kol bape?knape tak siap2 pergi kelas lagi?". dan tiap kali tue jgkla sye jwb, "ayah,nini baru bangun lar..baru jek pas smayang subuh nie". pastu kena marah, "kat sini dah kol 2.30ptg dah!". ayah oo ayah..

sejak kebelakangan nie,ayah rajin meng'on' skype hasil bantuan adek2 yg dah start nak cuti sekolah.ala bdak2,habes final exam tros buat cuti sendiri. knapela dlu sye skema sgt:(
ayah masih belom dapat adapt ngan skype jgk. ader penah skali tue sye call byk kali sbb nmpk skype rumah on9 tp tak diangkat2. rupa2nye ayah taktaw nak wat aper T__T

ayah sgt risau sbb sye tak reti masak dan cuti 5bulan tu sye sia2kan dgn takde pn bljr masak.haha.tiap2 hari ayah tanya sye makan aper?tkot sgt sye mkn maggi tiap2 hari kot sbb aritu bawak stok byk gler:P ngeh3~~
tapi bila jek sye ckp sye dah masak macam2 ngan dah start mkn sayur sbb faten,wieda ngn byron ske sgt masak sayur-.-' tros ayah cakap bagos!camtula baru boleh pandai!huhu..

sye jarang dapat ckp ngan mak sebab mak kerja.bila mak dah balik kerja,sye plx tgh kelas. hujung minggu jela baru dpt tgk muka mak:( tue pon sbb ayah tak kasi sye tepon rumah pakai hp. ayah cakap takyah bazir.kalau sye degil jgk,dptla ckp 2minit jek pastu ayah suruh letak.suruh kat skype jek -.-'

sye paling suka dgr ayah gelak.
sye paling suka mak senyum.

terima kasih skype. erm ader kne mengena x??layan~

Gemok?

gemok ni macam perkataan cantik. lain org lain definisi.
kalau bagi sye, gemok pada sye lebih kepada berat badan.
ader je sye jumpa perempuan yg badan lebih lebar dr sye tapi bila timbang,45kg! serius ok? manela taw,genetik dy tulang besar2 kot.siapa taw kan..
ader pulak sye jumpa lelaki yg badan mcm atlit dah,fit habes. tapi 75kg!

tapi paling sye sensitif bila org tegur2 tak sempat bagi salam teros cakap sye gemok:(
walaupun mmg realiti tapi dalam hati sape taw.
mood sye boleh down 1 hari hanya sebab timbang berat menaik lagi.
so tak payah nak ingat2kan lagi. sye taw sendiri.

lagi 1 sye paling tak paham,
kenapa org ckp awk gemok??
nak kurus camna lagi??haih.emo btol dgr.

definisi korang camna plx?